I Don't Like My Husband
I ADORE him; Eric is definitely a Godsend and I am so grateful for our love! I thank my late Aunt Brenda for giving me the best advice a girl could ask for, “If the guys you’ve been dating aren’t working, then try something new.” And Auntie, I did just that and never looked back.
My love story with Eric is no fairytale, but it is one of the best love stories ever written. Our love is surprising, consistent, hilarious, argumentative, stubborn, and amazing. We are so aligned with God’s will that it has been exciting to watch His work unfold in both of us.
For those of you who need the drama, I’ll give you a little, but it really ain’t much to give. The statement above, “I [really] don’t like my husband,” was something I shared with a close friend. Eric and I were in the middle of year seven of our marriage, we were stressed from the labor of remodeling a house, parenting around the clock, working nonstop, and not having any rest or downtime. I'd heard about this seven year itch, but didn’t believe it. Then I uttered the words, “I don’t like my husband, and I think I will let him have this house…ALONE,” with the straightest face possible. Ish got real!
Okay, okay…I can be a bit of a drama queen - there wasn’t anything major wrong with us, just lack of communication and quality time. That feeling of two ships passing in the night, was our reality, and it lasted for a couple of years for us. But then came Covid, and we got scared straight!
We watched marriage after marriage end with some of our closest friends, and others were on the verge. Although Covid ruined many things, in some ways it was a blessing. Being trapped in the house resurfaced our love in an awesome way. My roadies know I receive love through quality time, first, and then acts of service. I am a HUGE gift giver, so people always assume I need the same in return, but nah. It’s the time and intentionality for me.
The isolation in our home drew us closer to each other, helped us hone in on our communication with one another, made us better parents, and really, it just slowed us both down enough to care and pay attention to one another. I love Eric deeply, and I thank God for bringing him into my life and blessing me with our fantastic boys. In the words of my mom, “He’s good as gold,” and that’s a fact. Like everyone on this marriage train, we discovered some new and old things to keep our love alive. Life will throw ups and downs our way, but we have vowed to walk into our 10th year of marriage choosing all the up’s we can get our hands on ;).
Live It Up - Have fun
When kids enter the picture, couples often put their fun to the side. But what’s more fun than being a kid again. We thoroughly enjoy our boys and partake in all the things their hearts’ desire. Enjoy the life set for you, and never get caught up trying to live the life of others. Our family loves to eat out, watch new and old movies, enjoy our beautiful home, play board games and cheat (Hehe), take lavish family vacations, stay in a luxury hotel, and drink and be merry. Okay maybe the last three are for me, but this is US, and we love every bit of it. We have been blessed beyond measure and we thank God everyday for the countless blessings he has and will bestow upon our lives. The foundation of our family is love, prosperity, and joy, and we intend to spend every moment living it up!
Get Booed Up - Date Your Spouse
As parents to two active boys, we need a little alone time. Go to your favorite restaurant, plan a staycation, whisk away for a weekend, or when you really have time, plan an escape. Just get away or stay home, but just the two of you, and enjoy each other. Being married doesn’t mean there isn’t more to learn about one another or learn together. Laugh with each other, at absolutely nothing, and find time to relax. As two working parents, who travel from time to time, we are VERY intentional about our rest and respite. We cannot be amazing partners or parents to these phenomenal little humans if we don’t take time to recharge and restore ourselves for future resilience. Our mamas are just a call away, and we don’t miss the chance to get booed up.
Spice Things Up - A Couples Photoshoot + Playlist
Last year (2021), I decided to do something different for our anniversary and we did a Couples/Family Photoshoot. Sounds simple and straightforward, but the act of getting dolled up and dapper was more than fun. Oh, and Eric thinks he is DJ Easy E, so he played a whole love soundtrack at the shoot - good times. That time together allowed us to reconnect with each other through sexy stares, constant cuddling, and flirtatious laughter. Let’s just say the fun carried on long past the shoot - HA! It was our reminder of what attracted us to each other. Eric loves all my curves, my generosity, and my unexpected nature with a splash of extra - okay, maybe a little more than a splash. And for me, witnessing his evolution as a man and father, my love mate, and his freedom as my husband is so sexy to me. Not to mention, I love me a tall, Black man in a suit (YASSS), and he keeps me ROTF in laughter. Everyday is a mystery in our world, so we seek out ways to keep the love fresh and spice things up.
When things get so tough that you think about ending your marriage in divorce, remember all the “ups” that outweighed the downs, tell a friend - the one who will lift you and help you think more critically about that decision, and if all else fails, follow our tips above. All I can say is they definitely rejuvenated our lust, I mean love, for one another!
We are by no means a perfect couple, but our imperfect love is perfect for us. Now, I can say, “I don’t like my husband, I unconditionally LOVE that man!”